TOO BIG TO CRY

I keep waiting for the phone to ring
Yet I know it won't be you;
I try to fill my life with busyness
Yet all I do is think of you.

I never stopped to realize
How lonely I would be
I never thought the day would come
When you'd grow tired of me

Your voice was never sweeter
Than the day you said goodbye
You'll never know how much it hurt
Because I'm too big to cry

What became of us
And all our dreams and plans;
How could you turn and walk away
As I watched our castles turn to sand?

Do you never even miss me
Don't you long to caress my face;
How could you forget so easily
And You I can't erase?

I say hello and wish you well
Each time I pass you by
But you'll never know how much it hurt
Because I'm too big to cry

You never looked so wonderful
As the day you walked away
I used to say, "I love you"
But that I could not say

I want to be in your arms again
To see the laughter in your eyes;
But I guess the joke's on me
And Oh! Y m I not surprised!

I can't forget you darlin'
No matter how much I try
You'll never know how much it hurt
Because I'm too big to cry

if these walls could talk

If these walls could talk,
you'd know my body is dead,
my mind has been taken over,
that's why I am so scared,
I can't control it,
anger is making me blind,
I've been left here on my own
chained to a hate of some kind.
If these walls could talk.

If these walls could talk,
you'd know about my fears,
about all those nights I screamed for help,
about all my fallen tears.
You'd know about the demons
haunting me at night,
you'd be able to help me
keep my fire alight,
if these walls could talk.

If these walls could talk
they would say that it's all right,
God sends His angels
to look over me at night.
They'd encourage me,
say though I am alone
it doesn't mean Im on my own.
He watches me, from above
and showers me with all His love,
if only these walls could talk.

AN ANGEL WHO LEFT HIS WINGS FOR ME

I have an angel, for me who left his wings…
And he has no idea, how much happiness he truly brings…
He brightens up my day, with smiles and laughs…
Helps me to remember, all the blessings that I have…

His face so cute, he’s sweet, soft and pure…
Sometimes he can be irritating, sometimes he’s demure…
He tries so hard to please me, and to do what is right…
He gives the warmest of hugs… from morning until night…

Every person who has known him sees the light within his soul,
I know that in this whole wide world, he has a special role…
He’s helpful, and considerate to everyone he knows,
The light in him brightens, as my angel grows…

When he sees someone is sad, it opens up his heart…
He wants to do all that he can, he wants to do his part…
He squeezes out the sorrow, makes me forget the pain,
He shows me the sun, when I am hiding from the rain…


I know god must love me, he showered me with grace,
I just knew this instantly, when I saw my angel’s face…
In the very moment he came to my world,
I knew he was much more than just a white pearl…

He is my sunshine, with a sweetness that does’nt end,
I never thought he wud be so sensitive, and my best friend…
Although he says, I am the reason why he tries his best,
Right now my angel is away, giving his greatest test…

When god entrusts to you an angel, who left his wings for you,
Shower him with love and care, with everything that you do…
He knows god made him, and that he trusts me with his care,
And I make sure to make time for special moments with him to share…

And when at night he finally says good night and goes to sleep,
I thank god for this angel, who is mine, and for me to keep…
Coz I have this little angel, for me who left his wings,
And while reading this, he still doesn’t know, how much happiness, he truly brings!!!

THAT GIRL IS'NT ME

Tears bottled up

she's going to explode.

Trying not to let them fall,

or let emotion show.

Full of anger and sadness,

it's tearing her apart.

She tries not to show it,

but it's killing her heart.

She's hurting inside..

there's no one to talk to.

They say "oh she's just a teen",

but they don't know what she's going through.

She tries to explain,

but they just don't understand

tears in her eyes,

on the pillow they land

She goes to bed crying

and wakes up to a whole new day,

hoping it will be better,

but finds out it's all still the same

You couldn't understand,

even if you tried,

the reason that she cries at night,

the reason she tries to hide.

Don't try to come close,

she'll just push you away,

there's something that you don't know,

words she couldn't say.

She tries with all her might,

to be herself around her friends,

but something doesn't feel right,

a broken heart that could not mend.

She pretends that she's strong,

a tough outer shell,

but there's always something wrong,

she's trapped in her Hell.

She wants to speak,

to tell you all the truth,

but she is way too weak,

broken without any glue.

Painfully shy;

the bird that couldn't fly.

Dying on the inside;

a body without a mind.

Maybe if you took the time,

find the person she tries to be.

Maybe if you looked inside,

you'd realize she is me.

GIRL IN THE MIRROR

I look in the mirror and see a girl,

Who is staring back at me.

I don't know who she is,

Because she's not the girl I wana be.

She puts a smile on,

While inside she is falling apart.

She says, "I'm okay",

As pain fills her heart.

She pretends not to care,

As everyone slowly walks away.

She hides behind her mask,

And pretends to be okay.

She is scared to open up,

And call someone her friend.

They all turn out the same,

And never really care in the end.

She is scared to let people close,

It always ends up as heartache.

She decides to trust someone,

But it always ends up as a big mistake.

She feels like a stranger in her own home,

Like she doesn't even belong.

She tries the best she can,

But it always seems to be wrong.

She freezes up at the word "success",

People throw it around too much.

Her muscles constrict,

As she is afraid to be touched.

She has ideas for the future,

Hopes and dreams of her own.

But she doesn't hold her breath,

Because disappointment is all she has ever known.

She asks, "Why am I never good enough",

"Why am I always second choice"?

People tell her she's got to stand up for what she wants,

She's got to find her own voice.

I dont know who I wanna be,

It's never so much clearer.

But the fact of life is,

I'm only the girl in the mirror.

WHEN DEPRESSION TOOK OVER

Sitting in the corner of my bed

Having this frustration in my head

Trying to unleash all the pain inside

Thinking of how this has come to an end

I try to do everything just to please you

Even in bad times, I still believe you

I did everything to make it work

Even if you're just making it worst

Day and night, I've waited for a call

or just a text or a knock on my door

But all I got is this aching heart

and this sleepless tears all through out the night

I can never regret the feelings I have

but I have to move on and got to have my pride

I may not appear, but I'm always here

coz I feel You're so far yet so very near.

I get a funny feeling,

it comes from deep inside.

I get all mad and angry,

wanting to go and hide.

My frens calls it depression,

my dad says it's just me.

But the thoughts and feelings,

no one will ever be able to see.

Some say I'm psycho,

some say I'm just weird.

they say I'm a different person,

and the old me just disappeared.

I get really edgy,

I want to do sumthng reckless real bad.

Then I get a headache,

followed by feeling sad.

I dont wish I could get help,

I wish it would go away.

Maybe if I keep praying real hard,

i think it will some day.

SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG WITH ME

Something must be wrong with me

with all this hurt inside,

always bursting with anger,

and never any pride.

Something must be wrong with me

if all I do is cry,

I can't stop this pain..

all I want to do is die...

Something must be wrong with me

if my emotions run wild,

all this confusion does

is make me feel like a lost child.

Something must be wrong with me

with all these terrible things,

always there and never gone

depression is what it brings.

Something must be wrong with me

if I can't stop these thoughts,

all this pain does is

turn my stomach in knots.

Something is truly wrong with me

when I think there's only one way out,

"Let this pain end sumhow,"is all my heart will shout.