SIMI UNLIMITED: September 2009

THAT GIRL IS'NT ME

Tears bottled up

she's going to explode.

Trying not to let them fall,

or let emotion show.

Full of anger and sadness,

it's tearing her apart.

She tries not to show it,

but it's killing her heart.

She's hurting inside..

there's no one to talk to.

They say "oh she's just a teen",

but they don't know what she's going through.

She tries to explain,

but they just don't understand

tears in her eyes,

on the pillow they land

She goes to bed crying

and wakes up to a whole new day,

hoping it will be better,

but finds out it's all still the same

You couldn't understand,

even if you tried,

the reason that she cries at night,

the reason she tries to hide.

Don't try to come close,

she'll just push you away,

there's something that you don't know,

words she couldn't say.

She tries with all her might,

to be herself around her friends,

but something doesn't feel right,

a broken heart that could not mend.

She pretends that she's strong,

a tough outer shell,

but there's always something wrong,

she's trapped in her Hell.

She wants to speak,

to tell you all the truth,

but she is way too weak,

broken without any glue.

Painfully shy;

the bird that couldn't fly.

Dying on the inside;

a body without a mind.

Maybe if you took the time,

find the person she tries to be.

Maybe if you looked inside,

you'd realize she is me.

GIRL IN THE MIRROR

I look in the mirror and see a girl,

Who is staring back at me.

I don't know who she is,

Because she's not the girl I wana be.

She puts a smile on,

While inside she is falling apart.

She says, "I'm okay",

As pain fills her heart.

She pretends not to care,

As everyone slowly walks away.

She hides behind her mask,

And pretends to be okay.

She is scared to open up,

And call someone her friend.

They all turn out the same,

And never really care in the end.

She is scared to let people close,

It always ends up as heartache.

She decides to trust someone,

But it always ends up as a big mistake.

She feels like a stranger in her own home,

Like she doesn't even belong.

She tries the best she can,

But it always seems to be wrong.

She freezes up at the word "success",

People throw it around too much.

Her muscles constrict,

As she is afraid to be touched.

She has ideas for the future,

Hopes and dreams of her own.

But she doesn't hold her breath,

Because disappointment is all she has ever known.

She asks, "Why am I never good enough",

"Why am I always second choice"?

People tell her she's got to stand up for what she wants,

She's got to find her own voice.

I dont know who I wanna be,

It's never so much clearer.

But the fact of life is,

I'm only the girl in the mirror.

WHEN DEPRESSION TOOK OVER

Sitting in the corner of my bed

Having this frustration in my head

Trying to unleash all the pain inside

Thinking of how this has come to an end

I try to do everything just to please you

Even in bad times, I still believe you

I did everything to make it work

Even if you're just making it worst

Day and night, I've waited for a call

or just a text or a knock on my door

But all I got is this aching heart

and this sleepless tears all through out the night

I can never regret the feelings I have

but I have to move on and got to have my pride

I may not appear, but I'm always here

coz I feel You're so far yet so very near.

I get a funny feeling,

it comes from deep inside.

I get all mad and angry,

wanting to go and hide.

My frens calls it depression,

my dad says it's just me.

But the thoughts and feelings,

no one will ever be able to see.

Some say I'm psycho,

some say I'm just weird.

they say I'm a different person,

and the old me just disappeared.

I get really edgy,

I want to do sumthng reckless real bad.

Then I get a headache,

followed by feeling sad.

I dont wish I could get help,

I wish it would go away.

Maybe if I keep praying real hard,

i think it will some day.